Knowing What to Ignore

Do you spend your life worrying what people think about you and dwelling on negative comments you've received?

I have been wanting to write this post for a very long time and have just now had a chance to sit down and do it. About six months ago, I was having a tough time with many aspects of my life and after a particularly grueling vent session with my friend, she gave me something that changed my life and how I think about negativity and criticism.

She gave me a CD, with a sermon by Joel Osteen called "Know What to Ignore."  I remember putting it on in my car the moment she handed it to me and crying all the way home as I listened to it.  Then I listened to it again...and again and again. It's amazing how a close friend sometimes knows exactly what you need to hear. That sermon changed me and I want to share it with you because it impacted my life so greatly.

I know some people aren't religious so I'm taking out most of the biblical/scripture references from this sermon and extracting the amazing advice from it in hopes that it will help you too.

(this post is a little serious, so I thought this was a nice contrast)

Here are my favorite messages and quotes that I took from the sermon (I had to pause it like 100 times to write all of these down!) I tried to directly quote but in some cases I've paraphrased. Basically, the point of the sermon is to learn what to ignore so that you can live your life to the fullest and not waste your valuable time engaging in battles that don't matter or trying to win people over who will never be for you.

On fighting battles that don't matter:

• If you get in there and fight that battle---all you're doing is wasting your valuable time and energy that you should be using to pursue your dreams 
• You can let [people's comments or actions] upset you or you can dismiss it and say "I don't have to have their approval, I have almighty God's approval"
• It's very freeing when you realize you don't have to fight every battle, pay every person back or win over all of your critics---you can ignore it and live life happy---we could enjoy life more if we could learn what to ignore.

On dealing with critics:

• I've learned this principle--I don't waste my time engaging in battles that don't matter---I've learned  the critics can't keep you from your destiny---what they say about you doesn't define who you are---what someone does or doesn't give you doesn't determine your value. 
• Don't waste your valuable time trying to win over your critics---you have to accept the fact that some people are never going to celebrate you or be for you. But don't worry----God has already lined up the right people that will celebrate you, cheer you on and help you fulfill your destiny.
• Some people, no matter what you do, are never going to be for you. Even if you changed and met all their demands and did everything they asked they would still find something that you're doing wrong. You could go buy them a brand new Cadillac and hand them the car keys and they'll say they wanted a Lexus. They'll overlook the good and find some kind of fault.
• If someone tries to make you look bad---stay on the high road---the more they talk, the more God will bless you.
• When people belittle you, they are being little--- small minded people won't celebrate you---small minded people will be jealous and gossip and try to make you look bad---don't ever fight battles with small minded people.
• You have to know that not everyone is not going to be for you, but you shouldn't waste your time trying to convince them
• There is an anointing on your life to be YOU---when you allow people to squeeze you into their mold and you bow down to their pressures and you try to please all of your critics, it takes away your power, it takes away your uniqueness and it lessens God's favor on your life.
• If you're' going to do anything great in life, there will be critics, there will be opposition and people that judge you---I've heard it said "if you get kicked in the rear, it's because you're out at front."
• Tell yourself: "I will not give up because someone's talking about me.  I will not get discouraged if people don't celebrate me."
• Life is too short to be upset because someone's talking about you.
• We don't have time to sit around and think about all of the people that don't like us---everyday is a gift---our time is much too valuable to try to figure out how we can please everybody or pay someone back. Go out during the day, be your best and let the chips fall where they may.
• Quit dwelling on the negative things people have said about you---all that's going to do is poison you and you'll become defensive. You have to be so secure in who God made you to be that those comments bounce off of you like water on a duck's back.
• Jesus didn't respond to his critics---he paid them no word.  He didn't try to explain himself, he just stayed focused and ran his race.

On Distractions:

• The whole key is to not get distracted---it's easy to try to fight every battle or pay every person back---you have to ask yourself, if you get involved and you do win the battle---what is the prize? Is it going to advance you further? Or is it just a distraction that is going to steal your time and energy. The energy we spend fighting battles that don't matter is energy we don't have to pursue or God-given dreams and goals.
• When someone is pestering you---don't be a crow---be an eagle, rise above it, don't let it bother you---rise higher.
• The more success you have, the more opportunities there will be for distraction---here's why the higher you go, the more haters will come out---if you stretch beyond the norm, the naysayers and critics will come out of the woodwork and judge you and make negative comments. Say "I will not be distracted, I will not be drawn into a battle that doesn't matter, I will not let the poison of the critics get on the inside."
• Ignore their comments, ignore their critical spirits, ignore the naysayers, they don't control your destiny, God does---they are distractions to try and keep you from God's best.

On getting your focus back:

• People tell me "well Joel if he just would stop talking about me I wouldn't be so stressed!" Can I give you a news flash? If he stops talking, someone else will start talking---someone's always talking about us, we just don't realize it----don't let it bother you---after all God knows what they're saying. 
• Spend your energy being the best that you can be and God will send the right people down your path that do celebrate you 
• If you stay focused on what they're saying about you---before long that poison will get on the inside and you'll end up fighting a battle you were never supposed to fight.
• Some of you need to break free---you're not anointed to keep everyone happy, you're anointed to run your race.

On Joel's personal experiences:

• My personality type is to want everyone to like me---I used to do everything I could to  convince people that I really am nice and that you really should be my friend...but one day I realized that was keeping me from rising higher---I spent all of my time and energy trying to win people over---some of them which were never going to be for me. I had to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like me and not everyone is going to understand me. 
• I'm all for treating every person with respect and being kind and considerate but don't waste your time and energy trying to win people over that will never be for you--- don't waste one ounce of your valuable energy trying to convince them to like you.
• I just ran my race with focus, with purpose, with integrity and I saw more of God's favor on my life

I know this post is very long but I wanted to post these words of encouragement because they have helped me so tremendously. Obviously the sermon is much more powerful if you actually listen to it, but this is a basic outline of it. There's a lot of repetition here---but sometimes, you need to hear something more than once for it to really resonate.

I must admit, I did used to get upset about negative comments and when people would criticize me online.  I used to feel like I had to fight that battle "they don't know me! "I'm a good person!"  "I wish they could meet me and then they'd see I was a nice person!"  Not caring about those negative comments anymore set me free.  I was able to come to a point where I could ignore or laugh at a mean comment---and sometimes, I am truly saddened by them. I feel sad sometimes at how unfulfilled someone's life must be if they spend their time and energy trolling online just to post something negative.

A lot of people have been surprised at how well I deal with criticism.  I can truthfully say that this sermon is what changed everything for me.  I realized it wasn't worth spending my time and emotional energy on battles that were NOT worth my time.  It wasn't worth fueling the fire and responding to my critics. I accepted that not everyone will be for me and that that was OKAY. No matter how good of a person I try to be, not everyone has to like me.  A year ago, I couldn't think that way. Now, I just delete rude comments without a second thought (unless they're funny, then I'll laugh before deleting it.)

I'm not saying I'm never hurt by anything anyone says about me.  Sure, it's disheartening to read something online that is a lie or when someone tells me I sound like a "mindless drone" in my videos and that "I should stop making them" (true story!)...but what I'm saying is that I no longer let it affect me for more than a second.  I take it in and it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't dwell on it. I don't try to change myself to make others happy.  I am true to who I am and someone can either like me or not. 

Thank you for reading.

xoxo,

Veronika.

PS--- what words of encouragement or quotes have inspired your life? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Major thanks to one of my readers who found the video of the sermon on YouTube for anyone who would like to hear the full sermon:

Disclaimer: I occasionally attend services at Lakewood Church.  I am not trying to promote any religion or impose religion onto anyone. I'm simply sharing some messages that I found to be inspirational.